Fanfiction Fun: Brawl Edition
by EmilySamara
Summary: Some of our favorite characters discover fanfictions about themselves... amusing events  hopefully  unfold.
1. Chapter 1

**Characters are a bit OOC, but otherwise, just read and enjoy. Essentially, I'm making fun of myself, seeing as I'm a fanficton writer... XD**

"Ike... stop this. I'm just... I'm not ready."

The two bluenettes stared into each other's eyes, fearful sapphire blue into cold grayish blue.

"_Why_?" The mercenary demanded. "You're never ready. You're so immature. It takes you _weeks _to get ready for _anything, _including a party." Marth flinched. "If you don't have the guts for this, then... then we're _done_."

"Ike! You can't do this!"

"I can do anything I want, Marth," Ike replied. However, his face softened. He knelt down and touched Marth's face. Just as their lips were about to meet...

"_Cut! Cut_, already!" Ike said. The two broke from their mutual gaze to glare angrily at the giggling, red-haired cameraman.

"Sorry. Couldn't resist," Roy apologized. His lips twitched. All three Lords burst into laughter.

"You should have seen your _faces_!" Roy howled. "You looked like you were about to puke, Ike!"

"_I _was the one who was about to puke," Marth said dryly, composing himself. "Your breath, my friend, smells like rotten meat."

"Well, _excuuuuse _me, prince man," Ike said, rolling his eyes. "Maybe we shouldn't act out yaoi fanfics right after lunch."

"_Maybe _we shouldn't have morons like Roy running the camera," Marth said irritably.

"That sure is an ironic fanfiction," Pit, who was overseeing them, said. "Marth's the mature one here."

Ike smiled. "Man. That was actually fun. You're a good actor, Marth."

"Thank you."

"Whose idea was this again?" Roy asked, having finally recovered.

"I believe it was Samus," Marth said slowly.

"She's a genius," Pit said dreamily. "And so hot, too."

"Looks like _someone _had fun filming Samit fics," Ike said, hitting Pit's arm.

"What's next?" Marth asked.

Pit glanced at his notes. "We've got a couple of Marth and Zelda... some Link and Zelda... some Ike and me... I say we've got time for about three more before the tourney."

"Okay, then. Rolling for Pike," Roy prompted. Marth and Pit switched positions, with Marth overseeing and Pit crushing on Ike.

"And in three... two... one... FANFILM!"

**Please review, criticism appreciated.**


	2. Chapter 2

"So, whaddya think? Should we cut out the part where Ike says 'cut'?" Pit asked as he, Marth, Ike, Roy, and Samus finished viewing their first fanfilm.

Samus tapped her chin. "It kind of ruins the mood when he says it, but it's just so funny. I don't know what to do!"

"Yeah. That's me, baby. Ike. Hilarious. As if six feet of _steel _isn't enough." Ike lolled around on the couch, in I'm-incredible-everyone-bow-before-me kind of way.

Marth rolled his eyes. "Better brush your teeth once in a while if you're hoping for a kiss, my friend."

"Let's not get off-topic. What should we do about the 'cut' thing?" Samus asked, businesslike.

"Maybe, in order to prevent that problem in the future, our idiot cameraman could maybe _not _stop the camera two seconds before our lips touch." Marth glanced at Roy with playful disdain.

Roy shrugged. "It added to the suspense." Marth punched him lightly.

"Um, anyway, maybe we could have two copies, one with and one without." Pit said quickly, seeing as Samus was going to lose her temper very soon-like.

"Good idea, Pit," Samus said, smiling. Pit blushed.

"Anyway, I've got a new script for you guys," Samus said, switching on her laptop. "Read it and tell me what you think. Not that I care, 'cause you're acting it out anyway."

**Act 1, Scene 1: The Manor Hall. Present: Marth, Pit. **

_Marth and Pit are sitting across from one another, deep into a serious discussion. Their heads are bowed, and they nod occasionally._

**Marth:** Look. You want him, I want him. If we really loved him, we wouldn't let that idiot child have him.

**Pit **_(nods gravely.)_**: **True. If Ike isn't meant for me, I couldn't let him be taken by that redhead.

**Marth: **So we're on the same page.

_Pit nods. Momentary silence._

**Marth: **But how do we make it so Roy can never have Ike?

**Pit**_ (smiles evilly.)_**: **I think both you and I know the answer to that, Marth.

_Marth looks confused. Recognition flits across his face. He begins shaking, and holds the edge of the table for balance._

**Marth **_(takes deep breath.)_**: **I am no murderer. I would rather have Ike taken from me than have Roy's blood on our hands.

**Pit **_(still smiling.)_**: **Oh, but you misunderstand me, my friend. I have influence where you don't. No one would suspect a thing.

**Marth: **You would have Death himself take his soul before his time is over?

**Pit: **_(nods.) _Precisely, my friend. Precisely.

**Marth **_(sharply)_**: **And how does that differ from murder?

**Pit: **Death visits everyone at one point or another. I'll just have him visit Roy a tad early.

**Marth **_(takes deep breath.)_**: **Then that settles the matter of the meddling redhead. And as for our Ike... let the best man win.

**Act 1, Scene 2: The Graveyard. Present: Marth, Pit, Ike, Roy.**

_All of the characters and extras are dressed in black. Roy's body is visible for a split second in his coffin before being lowered into the ground. Marth, Pit, and Ike are standing together after the burial, Ike looking particularly forlorn._

**Ike **_(shaking head.)_**: **I just don't get it. Nobody does. He was perfectly healthy... and happy. It wasn't suicide. What was it...?

**Pit **_(comforting.)_**: **Everyone dies, Ike.

**Marth: **Yes...

**Ike: **But... Roy... had it been anyone else, I... wouldn't have minded so much, but... _(Ike breaks off and cries.) _Oh... Roy... _my _Roy...

_Marth and Pit look at each other in disbelief. Fade to black._

"Well, that was... disturbing," Marth said slowly.

"I'm not a murderer!" Pit cried.

"Wow. I am _so _hurt. You guys got Death to steal my soul. Wow. I'm crying. Can you see me crying?" Roy sniffled.

"Wow, what cruel irony," Ike said emotionlessly. "Look, can we talk about this after lunch? I want food."

Samus rolled her eyes. "After lunch, you film this. Deal?"

The four boys avoided her gaze.

Samus sighed. "After the lunch that _I _will pay for, you film this. Deal?"

"Deal!" The four boys chorused.


	3. Chapter 3

"Oh... Roy... _my _Roy..." Ike choked out.

Marth and Pit stared at each other with wide eyes.

"And... we're clear!" Roy said as he switched off the camera.

Ike gasped. "Oh, Roy! It's a miracle! You're _alive_!"

"Curses! Our plan was foiled!" Pit muttered.

Marth smiled. "What are you doing, Samus?"

"Look at this! I've been posting these scripts on a fanfiction website, and we're getting great reviews!" Samus said, staring at her computer.

"Wow! Seriously?" Pit asked, running over to look.

"Yeah!"

"Cool," Ike said. "Maybe we could post the videos on YouTube."

"Yeah, we should," Pit said. "I'll go get my camera."

"I'll come with you," Samus giggled.

"And _I'll _come with _you_," Roy said as the three of them left.

Marth and Ike sat down on the floor together.

Marth looked at Ike, then smiled and looked away.

"What?" Ike asked knowingly.

Marth let out a little laugh. "Oh, nothing... stupid, really..."

"What?" Ike pressed. "You can tell me."

"It's... you aren't... are these videos messing with your sexuality at all?"

"Wh-of course not!"

Marth laughed in that forced way again. "Yeah. Thought so."

They sat in an awkward silence for a while.

"You?" Ike asked.

"Huh?"

"Are they messing with _your _sexuality?"

Marth started to shake his head, then stopped. Ike blinked. "Well?"

"I'm not going to lie to you, Ike," Marth said, whipping around to gazeinto Ike's eyes.

"Wh... wh... what?"

"They are. Actually... they're not."

Ike relaxed.

"I've always been attracted to you."

Ike choked on the air in his throat.

Marth moved closer to Ike. "I love you, Ike."

Ike stopped breathing altogether.

Marth brought up his hand to stroke Ike's face. Ike was too surprised to pull away. And not only by Marth's sudden forwardness.

He was attracted to Marth, also.

Those beautiful blue eyes, those thick bangs, that fragile, skinny body...

Ike touched Marth's face. Their next move was clear...

This time, their lips met for real.

"And... CUT!" Link said loudly as he turned off the camera.

"Wow, you guys are really great actors," Zelda, the overseer, said.

"Thank you," Marth and Ike choroused in union.

"It was so... believeable," Link said.

"Well..." Marth turned to look at Ike again.

"Dude!" Ike gasped. "Are you serious?"

"NO!" Marth shouted happily. "HA! I _totally _got you on that, my friend!"

"Rggg... I'll get you back," Ike warned.

**Well? Did **_**I **_**getcha? Please review! P.S... apparently Marth's favorite phrase is "my friend." And my favorite emoticon is XD.**


	4. Chapter 4

Pit sat at his computer, deeply involved in an online game.

Zelda walked in. "Whatcha playing?"

"This awesome game where you shoot arrows at people so they can fall in love after death."

"Um, okay. Well, you have to quit."

"_What?_"

Zelda dumped a huge pile of paper onto Pit's desk. "Fanfilming. Samus has a bunch of ideas that _you _need to turn into scripts for us to act out, and to turn into stories to post on this fanfic website. Oh, and she's already got a bunch of Pike and Samit fics that you need to film."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on a sec. I've got _this much _to do? This is my break day!"

Zelda raised her eyebrows.

"I _am _the commander of an army, you know! This fanfilm stuff can wait, can't it?"

"Um, so yeah... about that. Yeah, it really _can't _wait."

"_What?_"

"Look at this." Zelda typed in the address for the fanfiction website on Pit's computer. "Our fans love us! They want _more_. We can't, like, disappoint them!"

"Okay, look." Pit held up his hands. "I used to really like this fanfilming thing. But, you know? It's not fun anymore when you have to _work _for it."

Zelda opened her mouth to argue, but her case was cut short by the arrival of two certain blue-haired swordsmen.

"Um, Zelda?" Marth said from the door.

"Mmm? Yes?"

"We have a complaint!" Ike declared angrily.

"Uh, yeah, what?"

Marth held up something that was instantly recognizable as a fanfilm script. "All these scripts call for us kissing!"

"Yeah, so? You did it once."

"Yeah, but that was a one-time thing! And really... these things get highly inappropriate toward the end!" Marth said as he flipped through the pages.

"Yeah! We're, like, taking it to home plate here!" Ike added.

Zelda clapped her hands together. "All right. Listen up, everyone. We have fans in high demand here. We need to stop complaining, and start fil-"

All of a sudden, Peach stopped in front of the door, holding an absolutely miserable-looking Link by the arm.

"Hi, Zelly! You would not _believe _how much fun I am having fiming these fanfilms with Link! Right, Lin-Lin?"

Link half-nodded and gave a smile that was more like a grimace.

"Omigosh, I've got to go, like, now! Bye-"

"OKAY! STOP IT! STOP IT RIGHT NOW! EVERYONE!" Zelda yelled. "ATTENTION! WE... ARE... HAVING... A FANFILMING FAST! YOU HEAR ME? A FANFILMING FAST! NO LOOPHOLES! STARTING... NOW!"

And with that, the feisty princess of Hyrule stomped out of the room, dragging Link behind her.

Peach squealed and clapped her hands. "OMG, you guys, that was, like, awesome!"

"Yeah," Marth said happily. "You did great. Here's that Sephora gift bag we promised you."

Peach squealed even louder, grabbed her payment, and skipped out.

"You guys are the best!" Pit exclaimed.

"We could _not _take it any longer," Marth said, rolling his eyes. "It started out fun, but..."

"It got out of control," Ike finished.

"Exactly," Marth said.

**What? You say that these are MY feelings? Nonsense...! But seriously, until I get some more material, I'm taking a little break from this story... but I will write other stories! Including crossovers! Thanks to Zelda12343 for the Link/Zelda idea... I will get to work on the Link/Ganondorf thing, although I may make a different story about it... nothing is definite, but my gratitude to you awesome reviewers is infinite!**


	5. Chapter 5

Marth and Ike were sitting on a couch watching a movie. It was a pretty good movie, actually. It was called _The Ring_, and it was about this little ghost girl named Samara who called people to notify them of their deaths in seven days.

The phone rang.

Both boys jumped. Marth looked at Ike.

"You're getting that," they said simultaneously.

Marth gave Ike his big-sad-blue-puppy-eyes look. Ike sighed and picked up the phone.

"Hello. If your name is Samara Morgan, this is not Ike."

"What? Ike, is that you? It's Samus."

"Oh... hey, Samus." Ike and Marth were surprised to hear from her; they had pretty much stopped hanging out when she got offended about the fanfilming fast.

"Yeah, hi. So, I know you guys don't want to do the fanfilms anymore... but something's up. Could you come over to my place?"

"Uh, sure. See ya in a sec."

"Oh, and Ike?"

"Yeah?"

"Who the heck is Samara Morgan?"

"Um..." Ike stammered, blushing from embarrassment over his fear of a fictional eight-year-old girl. "Uh... my psychopathic ex."

"Oh... okay."

...

"So, guys, look at this," Samus said as she clicked on the Internet icon on her computer. "This guy's been taking our idea and making fun of it."

"What do you mean?" Link asked.

"I mean, he's doing the same idea as us-you know, the characters reading fanfics about themselves-except for it's flipped. You guys are actually gay, and they're making fun-in a _mean _way-of our fanfics about you guys making fun of yaoi fanfics! Look at this one. It's disgusting!"

Angry as she was, Samus couldn't help giggling at the amusing distortions of the boys' expressions as they read the porny fanfic.

"Oh, yuck!" Marth spat. "That's disgusting!"

"I know, right?" Samus replied. "The guy's even calling himself EmmettSamuel. I mean, honestly!"

"Maybe he has some sort of sick method of flirting with you," Pit suggested.

Samus shrugged. "I dunno. These guys try the weirdest tactics!"

"But check it out. You know that Abigal Satoshi chick who gave us really good reviews? She posting flames like heck about this guy! And Foxpilot too!"

"Yay, people love us!" Pit said halfheartedly.

"Well, Abigal and Foxpilot are _not _single-handedly gonna stop this guy from ripping us off. Nice thought, though... we're gonna have to mention them in our next fic."

"Hold on a second," Marth said slowly. "I have a plan..."

**What is Marth's plan? How will Abigal Satoshi xx and Foxpilot react to this? Will my other reviewers get mad cuz they're not mentioned? Will I ever finish my Science homework or will I keep getting distracted? All will be revealed... sometime. Hopefully. I hate homework. Please review.**


	6. Chapter 6

**My apologies to anyone named Royce or anyone whose last name is McDonald. And to Abigal Satoshi xx and Foxpilot for making fun of them. Also, I have longer paragraphs now! XD**

Royce McDonald, reigning BMOC of the expensive Christian prep school Briarwood Academy and King of Mean to boot, sat at his desk, laughing his head off at some crazy chick's online stories.

Royce loved this website. He only commented on the best stories, criticizing them unkindly and mocking the plot. In the worse stories, he simply commented with the choicest swear words. But this EmilySamara chick was something else.

In addition to her twisted story ideas and obvious goth horror obsessions, she was obviously crazy. It seemed like she thought that the obviously gay video game characters were... almost real people or something. Royce was familiar with this kind of crazy chick. He knew exactly how to get inside her head. Her life was probably so sad, he would just spice it up a bit.

Of course, her loser reviewers came to her defense. Abigal Stupidoshi and Foxfaggot. Royce simply blocked them from his account. Meanwhile, EmilySamara had stopped writing stories. Probably crying in her room and writing morbid poetry about suicide.

For the ten thousanth time that day, Royce glanced at his full-body length mirror to admire his reflection-then froze with his mouth hanging open.

In addition to his own reflection, there was another... person reflected in the spotless mirror. He wore a white toga and gladiator sandals. And he had wings, also.

The angel smiled. "How's it hangin', Royce?"

Royce tried to choke out a laugh. "Creeper," he said nervously. "Get out of my room."

"And besides," he added, his voice shaking. "Who says 'How's it hangin' except for Chucky?"

Royce suddenly felt a painful sensation in his rear end. He screamed in a high-pitched voice as whoever it was lifted him off of his chair and gave him the coolest wedgie ever known to man. I mean, come on. Who else uses a magical, blessed golden sword to give someone a wedgie?

The angel laughed. "Nicely done, Ike."

"Thank you," said a deep voice behind Royce. Royce ducked to see who it was behind his in the mirror.

It was a tall, muscular guy, who, Royce angrily realized, could give him a run for his money as the Big Man On Campus. He had wild bluish hair (WTF?) and wore ripped old-timey clothes, a ripped cape, and a torn bandanna.

"You're welcome," said a new voice. A boy walked in front of Royce, obscuring his mirrored view of the angel and the bodybuilder.

The new guy was arguably the weirdest yet. He had dark blue hair (again, WTF?) and he wore a freakin' _tiara_. Not only that, he was basically wearing a skirt and leggings. And he was superskinny. Royce could have easily bested him in a fight.

"Who the heck _are _you freaks and what are you doing in my room?" Royce screeched.

The gay tiara guy smiled pleasantly. "We're video game characters," he said in a soft voice. "And it's time for your game over."

"Look, I don't know who you are, gaylord, but tell this muscle freak to let me go!"

The tiara guy remained smiling, but his eyes narrowed. Before Royce knew what was happening, the gaylord reared his arm back and smashed it into Royce's nose.

"Aaagh!" Royce's head drooped down and he held his hands over his bleeding nose. "Son of a..."

The tiara guy kneeled down. "Now, I'm not against gay people," he said calmly. "Not in the slightest. But if you call me gay again, you're getting a bit more than that little tap on the nose."

"That being said," said _another _new voice. Royce looked up and shuddered to see a guy dressed in green Santa's Workshop elf clothes standing in front of him. But the freaky part about him was the elf ears... and the fact that his perfectly styled blond hair and icy blue eyes were scarily similar to Royce's.

"You can stop ripping off the EmilySamara fanfictions," said the blond guy. "But I don't think you've learned your lesson yet."

"And that's where _I _come in," said a lovely FEMALE voice. Royce could only stare at the beautiful, blonde, busty woman in the super-tight blue jumpsuit. Could only stare as she smiled in a knowing way at the freaks. Could only stare as she reared back her leg and kicked him where no dude should _ever _be kicked.

...

"Well, now that takes care of _that _pest," Samus declared as the scrawny blond kid fainted. "Let 'im down, Ike."

Ike obliged. The blond kid didn't even stir.

"I've got a great idea!" Pit said. "Now that we're in the real world, let's steal this guy's clothes and go get some real-world sushi!"

"REAL-WORLD SUSHI!" The guys yelled as Samus rolled her eyes good-naturedly.

Hooray for real-world sushi! And I finished my Science homework! You now know what Marth's plan was! My sincere apologies to any gay people. Really, please don't be offended. And also... do not falsely accuse Marth or any of the others as being gay. He will kill you in your sleep. ;-)


End file.
